Ra’anana Community Kollel
Every Step of the Way
Judy Landesman
A young woman, giving an interview on the radio today about her work on a special project, got my attention when she said: “We work hard to get an education in the hope that we will be accepted in society.” She then added that she was speaking for handicapped youngsters in general; she is blind.
I am a big believer in education for everyone (I tell my Mathematics students that Hashem’s world is worth studying), but for our Malka, who has cerebral palsy, education, both intellectual and emotional, was and is her ticket to full acceptance. Hashem was visibly with us every step of the way on this road.
The stories are many, but here is how Malka started. At the age of 10 months, a very unpleasant meeting with a big time neurologist, who gave us a bleak prognosis, sent us to the Cerebral Palsy center. It was not the right educational place for Malka, but there miraculously a young Jewish psychologist whispered to me one day that I should get her into a program at The Human Resources School, a place where one of his mentors, the well-known rehab psychologist Dr. Greenspan was on the staff. I got the number from the operator and called to be told that… they generally do not accept children with CP and certainly not ones who do not live in Nassau County, but …after asking to speak to the principal, I was told that should “the headmaster” think otherwise, we’ll have to pay $ 800 a month (this was almost 35 years ago!) since we do not live in the county.
We agonized over moving out of the neighborhood we thought best for bringing up all our children, when I told the story to an acquaintance (a psychologist, later to become and stay a very dear friend) in the Shabbos park; she coached me as to the way I am to make the next phone call to the school: “Hello, Dr. Greenspan suggested I speak to the headmaster”, and when she put him right on the line: “My almost 3 year old daughter with CP tested very well on a recent IQ test…” He invited us to come have their own staff test her for some 3 hours on 2 separate days, offered to take Malka into the nursery school with fees annulled and with instructions that we keep her attendance a secret, especially from the New York City Board of Education.
Malka spent the next 10 years in this superior school, after which she was able to enter Shevach High School with advanced standing. This then gave her standing with the girls and the special privilege of becoming your Rebbetzin Elana (Goldstein) Horwitz’s good friend. Her Jewish education was not on par with her classmates’, but it wasn’t non-existent.
So here’s another story. When Malka was 4 and a half, I became very concerned that she had started living in a fantasy world as I had read many books describe the ways of handicapped children. Concerned, I decided to attend a monthly social meeting, in an organization in which I did not often participate, because there was a frum psychologist speaking. He was kind enough to hear my story privately after the meeting. I told him that, just that day, after singing a song Malka had learned from her younger brother, she told a friend of mine: “ I learned it from my Morah!” The psychologist argued: “She is not fabricating, she is wishful-thinking. If you can afford it, get her a private Morah.” Malka was not yet 5 years old when she got her first of years of formal weekly lessons in Jewish Education. Catching up with her classmates in high school took some time, but she could take her turn reading and explaining a Rashi.
In a magazine interview, Malka stated that she knew she was fully accepted when, one day, someone rushed back into the classroom 10 minutes after they had left when they realized she had not followed along; they simply forgot there were physical obstacles for her electric wheelchair on the way to the basketball court, so Malka needed help getting around them. Her abilities had become the focus, rather than her disability.
Every step of the way Hashem guided us and helped us. Malka earned a Masters degree in psychology at Columbia by the time she was 22. Happily married, Malka and her able- bodied husband are the proud parents of their five delightful children. Malka is fully integrated as she actively contributes to their Beit Shemesh community.
