Ra'anana Community Kollel - Parshat Vayishlach 5766

            What’s Wrong with a $10 Million Bat Mitzvah?

                                                 Rabbi Binyomin Lipson

Over ten years ago, the media was alive with talk about the seventieth birthday party of Malcolm Forbes Sr., the late publisher of Forbes Magazine. Apparently bored with the standard milieu of tired locations, Forbes wowed the public with an exotic excursion to    Morocco to which he flew such celebrity friends as Henry Kissinger and Walter Cronkite, and at the end of the festivities, flipped the bill for $2 million. One can’t help but wonder what Malcolm would have said if he were here today to see someone spending the entire cost of his little sortie on entertainment alone at an affair that cost more than five times the price.

As he made his way back from his sojourn with his uncle Lavan, the Torah describes how Ya’akov sent gifts to his brother Eisav with the hope of cooling his anger. When they finally met, Eisav asked Ya’akov, “What did you intend by sending that whole camp that came to meet me?” When Ya’akov responded that he had intended these things as a gift in order to find favor in his brother’s eyes, Eisav responded, “I have much, my brother, let that which is yours remain with you.”

“And Ya’akov said, “Please, if I have found favor in your eyes, accept my offering . . . for I have everything.” And he implored him, and he accepted. (Bereishit 33:10-11)

While Ya’akov truly felt that he had “everything”, Eisav expressed the fact that although he had “much”, there was much, much more that he would have liked to have as well. And thus, after a bit of persuading, he eventually accepted what had been offered. Eisav has a lot, but still hungers for more, while Ya’akov exemplifies the teaching of the Mishna, “Who is the rich man? He who is happy with his portion.”

Interestingly, Rav Elya Lopian brought another source for this concept from a source that we may not have thought of. In the last paragraph of Birkat Hamazon we proclaim that, “. . . those who seek Hashem will not lack anything good.” Now then, asked Rav Elya, does this statement conform to reality? On the contrary, if we look around we see many righteous people who seem to be lacking most of the good things that others are so busy enjoying. Have we ever stopped for a moment to understand what we are saying? Rav Elya, explained with the following parable.

A man was walking down the street one day when he met a friend that he had not seen in a long time. “Come with me,” encouraged his friend, “and I will show you that I have become a very wealthy man. All that I ask of you is that you will not be jealous.” When they arrived at his house, the man opened a cabinet and showed his old acquaintance a box filled with colored bottles. “This is my treasure,” he told his friend who was now looking more confused than impressed. “You see, in the past year I have become very sick with a life-threatening disease, and the medications that I must take are extremely rare and expensive. I can tell you with absolute surety that there is not a person in our entire region who owns commodities as valuable as these!”

Obviously, no person in his right mind would be the least bit envious of such “treasures”. In the same way, explained Rav Elya, those who seek Hashem do not view the comforts of the world with the even the slightest degree of envy. Although the tzaddikim may actually lack many of the physical comforts of the modern world, the fact that they do not feel any lack is the only thing that makes a difference. In essence, this was the feeling that Ya’akov was expressing when he told Eisav that he had everything.

If we have any hope at all of approaching the level of Ya’akov, it is only by internalizing the fact that our physical possessions have only been given to us for the express purpose of fulfilling the will of our Creator. If Hashem knows what we are here to accomplish and gives us the tools with which we are meant to achieve it, how can we possibly look at someone else’s bank account and wish that we had the same?

Let’s try to take this idea one step further. When the Jewish people were about to leave Egypt, Hashem commanded them to approach their former captors and “borrow” vessels of gold and silver. Now, after the land of Egypt had been completely decimated by the ten plagues, it seems fair to assume that it was clear to all that the Jews were not just going for a little vacation in the desert. Rather they were leaving forever. Why then did Hashem tell the Jewish people to borrow these vessels? The Gerrer Rebbe commented that with this command Hashem was teaching the Jewish people a vital lesson about the subject of wealth. No matter how much you have, No matter how successful you become, always remember that whatever you have is not actually yours; it’s only borrowed.

If so, then there is more to spending money then deciding on which tropical island I would like to host my next birthday party, or what expensive gift I should give as a memento to all those who participate. Rather, it is a decision which involves a part of my service of the Creator of the universe who allotted me these funds and expects them to be used for the purpose for which they were intended. Parties? Perhaps. Vacations? Definitely! But in a manner which reflects that we have taken into consideration the purpose for which the funds were allotted in the first place.

Throughout the generations of our bitter exile, there has never been a period when more Jews were blessed with the levels of material comfort that are today considered basic to daily living. Whatever our situation has been, we have always viewed it as a means of personal growth and a way to show the world what it means to be a servant of the King. However, we need to realize that our situation today is no different. In a society of which strives to take conspicuous consumption to its ultimate extremes, it is vital that we retain the attitude that everything that we have been so graciously given in life is a but a tool for achieving our ultimate purpose of sanctifying the name of heaven.

Adapted in part from the comments of Rabbi Yissocher Frand