Ra'anana Community Kollel - Parshat Vayeitzei

Lavan’s Law

Rabbi Dovid Horwitz

This week’s parshah documents the well known deception that Ya’akov suffered at the hands of his new father-in-law Lavan. Ya'akov had worked for Rachel’s hand in marriage, only to discover that at the last minute her older sister Leah was substituted in her place. When Ya'akov confronted Lavan and asked for an explanation as to why he had tricked him by replacing Rachel with Leah, Lavan responded that it is improper to wed the younger daughter before the older one. We know that Lavan was a wicked person and a trickster to boot - was there any halachic validity to his claim?

The Gemara (Bava Batra 120a) states at Torah-related gatherings the guests should be seated according to wisdom, whereas at joyous occasions, such as parties and weddings, the seats should be arranged according to age. The Bach, one of the major commentaries on the Shulchan Aruch, expounds on this Gemara and rules that if there are two brothers or two sisters who are engaged to be married, the wedding of the older should precede the younger since in matters of joy we give precedence according to age. It would seem from this ruling that Lavan’s law does indeed have a foundation in halacha.

Nevertheless, Rabbi Moshe Feinstein writes that this ruling of the Bach is only applicable when both siblings are engaged to be married. Being that they both have already found their brides, it is prudent to perform the wedding of the older one first. However, if the younger sibling has become engaged and the older one has yet to find his or her mate, then the younger one is allowed to get married before the older, the older sibling’s discomfort notwithstanding. Rav Moshe explains that the aforementioned Gemara is discussing the hierarchy of giving honor to multiple individuals. Therefore, when it comes to assemblies of wisdom, we give honor to the wise, and when it comes to matters of simchah, we show honor by giving precedence according to age. However, in the case where the older sibling has yet to find his or her match, to indefinitely postpone the wedding of the younger one, thereby denying him or her the opportunity to perform the mitzvah of building a family, goes far beyond the bounds of showing honor. According to Rav Moshe’s interpretation of the Gemara and the Bach’s ruling, Lavan’s law is not rooted in halachah, since Leah had not been engaged at the same time as Rachel. Lavan was indeed acting improperly, true to the lying cheat that he was.