Ra'anana Community Kollel - Parshat Lech Lechah 5766

                                 Visions of Beauty

                                               Rabbi Binyomin Lipson

Soon after Avram and Sarai arrived in the land of Israel, a devastating famine forced them to descend to Egypt. “And it was, as he neared the land of Egypt, Avram said to his wife Sarai, ‘Now I realize that you are a beautiful woman.’” (Bereishit 12:11) Rashi, citing a Midrash, explains that although Avram and Sarai had been married for many years, still, due to the great level of modesty between them, he did not perceive her beauty until this moment when they were crossing a river and he caught sight of her reflection in the water (Midrash Tanchuma). Needless, to say, this Midrash certainly seems difficult to understand. Is it humanly possible for a man to be married to a woman for so many years and never have looked her in the face?

Imagine a person who is totally engrossed in achieving material success. The car he drives, the clothes he wears, and the exclusive restaurants that he dines in take up close to one hundred percent of his attention and concentration. Anything that does not contribute to his physical comforts and material achievement is barely noticeable to him at all; not because it is not there, but because it simply fades into the background.

Now imagine introducing this person to someone like the Chofetz Chaim. He sits in a barely furnished hovel with a dirt floor. His clothes are old and worn, his food is scarcely more than a piece of hard bread. He sits all day without interruption quietly mumbling the words of old, musty volumes written in an ancient language. When this man encounters the gadol hador, the greatest sage of his generation, what does he see? Does he perceive even a flicker of his greatness? Does he glean even a superficial perception of his holiness?   If he could just set aside his pursuits for a few moments he might begin to see it; but he can’t. If he would focus his attention on internal beauty rather than phony flash and flare he would certainly grasp it; but he doesn't. Rather, he sits in front of a vision of holiness and purity, and sees literally nothing of value.

If we can conceive of a person who is so totally engrossed in the physical aspects of his existence that he remains completely oblivious of the spiritual, then it shouldn't be so hard for us to imagine that people like Avram and Sarai, who were totally steeped in their spiritual mission of giving to others as their service of G-d, could remain totally unmindful of the notion of physical beauty. Their relationship was so sublime and intently focused on their higher aspirations that the physical aspects of their association with each other remained barely even noticeable. According to this explanation, the Midrash is not saying that in all their years together Avram barely even glanced at his wife. Rather, it is saying that although Avram certainly looked at his wife as does any husband, the primary thing that he saw was her spiritual essence, while her great physical beauty remained barely noticeable in the background. Like every one of us, Avram paid keen attention to that which was of value to him while remaining virtually oblivious that that which wasn’t. However, when he was in the midst of traveling on the way and caught a glimpse of Sarai’s reflection in the water, he was met face to face with a picture of her beauty. As he was looking at a mere reflection and not at Sarai herself, all Avram could see was her physical side; which was something he had never seen before.

When the angels visited Avraham after his brit milah, the Torah tells us that they asked him, “Where is Sarah your wife?” And Avraham replied, “She is here in the tent.” Did the angels not know where Sarah was that they needed to inquire as to her whereabouts? Rather, as Rashi explains, they only asked this to in order to praise her in the eyes of her husband by emphasizing her great modesty. Now wait a minute, Sometimes, if you know that a particular husband and wife are not exactly getting along so well you might praise them to one another in order to quell their feelings of discord. However, were such efforts really necessary in the case of Avraham and Sarah who had achieved such a pristine level of spiritual closeness? Rav Chaim Shmulevitz remarked that from here we see the incredible obligation to foster peace between a husband and his wife. No matter how close they are, and no matter what spiritual heights they have reached in their relationship, every couple can do with a bit of encouragement and additional efforts to take what they have and make it even better.

And don’t forget . . . if we see from the angels that visited Avraham and Sarah that it is a mitzvah to make efforts to enhance the shalom bayit of another couple, then certainly it is incumbent on each and every married person to attempt to foster his own!